An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from
Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay
me $5, and vice versa."
Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,
you
pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to
this
torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the
earth
to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5
bill
and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down
with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American
$5,
and goes back to sleep!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Great One by God
WOMAN AND GOD
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live"
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
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..
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God replied,
"I didn't recognize you."
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live"
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
..
.
..
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..
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..
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..
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..
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..
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God replied,
"I didn't recognize you."
Ghayal Coder - dialogues mast ......
Latest dialogues from the movie "Ghayal Coder" under production:
Sunny Deol: Bench pe bench, bench pe bench, Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe aur unhe mili toh sirf bench!
Analysisi of algorithm karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm aur unhe bhi mili to sirf bench!
Training ke baad proj milega, phir appraisal hoga, phir onsite jaoonga isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di aur
unhe bhi mili toh sirf bench!
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench, aur phir bhi unhe mili toh bench!
Sunny Deol: Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai wo kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
Sunny Deol: Aur jab yeh Java ka code kisi Dotnet wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uth ta nahi, balki is duniya se uth jaata hai............
Sunny Deol: Bazaar main aise code bahot milte lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chaiye hta hai who ek coder lekar paida hta hai
Developer Nana Patekar's dialogue:
Bang Bang Bang...(on the keyboard)...
Ye dekho ...
Ye 'C' ka code.. ye 'C++' ka code... Ye dono mila diya...
Ab bata tester - 'C' ka kaunsa, 'C++' ka kaunsa???
Jab banane waale ne ismein koi farak nahi kiya to tum kaun ho farak karne waale.... Bata bata
Sunny Deol: Bench pe bench, bench pe bench, Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe aur unhe mili toh sirf bench!
Analysisi of algorithm karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm aur unhe bhi mili to sirf bench!
Training ke baad proj milega, phir appraisal hoga, phir onsite jaoonga isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di aur
unhe bhi mili toh sirf bench!
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench, aur phir bhi unhe mili toh bench!
Sunny Deol: Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai wo kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
Sunny Deol: Aur jab yeh Java ka code kisi Dotnet wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uth ta nahi, balki is duniya se uth jaata hai............
Sunny Deol: Bazaar main aise code bahot milte lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chaiye hta hai who ek coder lekar paida hta hai
Developer Nana Patekar's dialogue:
Bang Bang Bang...(on the keyboard)...
Ye dekho ...
Ye 'C' ka code.. ye 'C++' ka code... Ye dono mila diya...
Ab bata tester - 'C' ka kaunsa, 'C++' ka kaunsa???
Jab banane waale ne ismein koi farak nahi kiya to tum kaun ho farak karne waale.... Bata bata
College ke din bollywood style ....
1. college ------- yaadein
2.pricipal ------ Jaani Dushman
3.classes ------- kabhi kabhi
4.canteen------- kabhi alvida na kehna
5.course -------- godzilla
6.exams -------- kalyug
7.examination hall---- chamber of secret
8.exam-time ---------- qayamat se qayamt tak
9. question paper --------- paheli
10.answer paper ---------- kora kagaz
11.cheating ---------- aksar/chupke chupke
12. paper out ---------- plan
13.examiner ------------- the killer
14.last exam ----------- independence day
15.paper correction --------- andha kanoon
16.marks ----------- assambhav
17.result ----------- murder
18.pass ------------ ajjoba/ chamatkar
19. fail ----------- devdas
20.supplementary ------- aakhri raasta
21.vacation ------------- waah life hoto aisi
2.pricipal ------ Jaani Dushman
3.classes ------- kabhi kabhi
4.canteen------- kabhi alvida na kehna
5.course -------- godzilla
6.exams -------- kalyug
7.examination hall---- chamber of secret
8.exam-time ---------- qayamat se qayamt tak
9. question paper --------- paheli
10.answer paper ---------- kora kagaz
11.cheating ---------- aksar/chupke chupke
12. paper out ---------- plan
13.examiner ------------- the killer
14.last exam ----------- independence day
15.paper correction --------- andha kanoon
16.marks ----------- assambhav
17.result ----------- murder
18.pass ------------ ajjoba/ chamatkar
19. fail ----------- devdas
20.supplementary ------- aakhri raasta
21.vacation ------------- waah life hoto aisi
Current world financial situation Indian way
Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50. '
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50. '
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Bengali : Nesha .... ( Addiction )
Khub dukhyo pele,
Monn chhurey di neshar buke,
Se firiye deyna....
Nijeke tar kachhey mukto kori,
Ongko koshey shikto kori,
Se mana korena ....
Shob seshhey klantir arek naam somapti,
Se bole,
Cholo ...Othho... aro ekbar,
Onek kichhu baki achhey ....
Neshha emoni,
Ek chondrobindu amar kachhey ....
Monn chhurey di neshar buke,
Se firiye deyna....
Nijeke tar kachhey mukto kori,
Ongko koshey shikto kori,
Se mana korena ....
Shob seshhey klantir arek naam somapti,
Se bole,
Cholo ...Othho... aro ekbar,
Onek kichhu baki achhey ....
Neshha emoni,
Ek chondrobindu amar kachhey ....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Warrior
I sit still,
With my head facing earth,
And eyes wide shut,
I hear you come,
Your heavy footsteps lead your way,
Dark & Fast .....
I am a warrior,
I have won many evenings,
And have cherished them at the start of the day,
I am waiting for you,
I hear you come my way ....
Now you seem to move fast at me,
Your eyes spreading lots of anger,
You call me by my name,
You mock me,
You don't know,
I am a warrior ....
Now i can feel you shadows,
Now i can feel your strength,
I jump to your neighbor,
And then to your chest,
My dagger cuts your throat,
You are dead,
It was fast,
As you body sway,
You didn't know who i am,
I am the Warrior,
I have never lost my day .....
With my head facing earth,
And eyes wide shut,
I hear you come,
Your heavy footsteps lead your way,
Dark & Fast .....
I am a warrior,
I have won many evenings,
And have cherished them at the start of the day,
I am waiting for you,
I hear you come my way ....
Now you seem to move fast at me,
Your eyes spreading lots of anger,
You call me by my name,
You mock me,
You don't know,
I am a warrior ....
Now i can feel you shadows,
Now i can feel your strength,
I jump to your neighbor,
And then to your chest,
My dagger cuts your throat,
You are dead,
It was fast,
As you body sway,
You didn't know who i am,
I am the Warrior,
I have never lost my day .....
Love letter....nice one
A young attractive teenage college girl received a love letter from her
classmate. It was as follows:
My dear Swapna,
Please answer the following questionnaire. You will get 10 marks for (a), 5
marks for (b) and 3 marks for (c). If you have scored more than 40, then you
love me. Don't delay to express it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,
love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have
scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
1) Whenever you enter the classroom, your sight always falls on me because
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't resist seeing me
(c) really.... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped
singing because
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared whether I'd like your song
4) When you were showing your nude child photo, when I asked for it, you hid
it because
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy if I would imagine you nude
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking, my friend and myself gave you hand for lifting you. You
took only my friend's because
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel like leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus.
(a) You were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because
(a) I am going to be their son-in-law
(b) you just wanted to know what your parents think about me
(c) you just felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at
6:00 AM because
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
Eagerly awaiting the result of Love Exam
- Aakash
Swapna's reply letter was also in Q/A format.
Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,
sees them
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girl laughs and sees anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop
singing or not?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing the photo to my friends who are girls. You poked you nose
inside....right?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my friend (girl)?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, and banana's flower. Is
it true?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I saw you in the temple. I
come daily to the temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered, "Yes" to any of the question, then I do not love
you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
classmate. It was as follows:
My dear Swapna,
Please answer the following questionnaire. You will get 10 marks for (a), 5
marks for (b) and 3 marks for (c). If you have scored more than 40, then you
love me. Don't delay to express it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,
love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have
scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
1) Whenever you enter the classroom, your sight always falls on me because
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't resist seeing me
(c) really.... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped
singing because
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared whether I'd like your song
4) When you were showing your nude child photo, when I asked for it, you hid
it because
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy if I would imagine you nude
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking, my friend and myself gave you hand for lifting you. You
took only my friend's because
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel like leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus.
(a) You were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because
(a) I am going to be their son-in-law
(b) you just wanted to know what your parents think about me
(c) you just felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at
6:00 AM because
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
Eagerly awaiting the result of Love Exam
- Aakash
Swapna's reply letter was also in Q/A format.
Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,
sees them
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girl laughs and sees anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop
singing or not?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing the photo to my friends who are girls. You poked you nose
inside....right?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my friend (girl)?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, and banana's flower. Is
it true?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I saw you in the temple. I
come daily to the temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered, "Yes" to any of the question, then I do not love
you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sardarji great
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
**************************************
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
**************************************
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
**************************************
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
**************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
**************************************
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
**************************************
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
**************************************
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
**************************************
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
**************************************
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
**************************************
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
**************************************
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
**************************************
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
**************************************
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
**************************************
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
**************************************
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
**************************************
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
**************************************
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
**************************************
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
**************************************
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
**************************************
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
**************************************
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
**************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
**************************************
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
**************************************
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
**************************************
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
**************************************
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
**************************************
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
**************************************
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
**************************************
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
**************************************
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
**************************************
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
**************************************
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
**************************************
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
**************************************
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
**************************************
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
**************************************
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sardars are back.... few fresh jokes
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha
--------------------------------------
Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem haiDR: Kya?Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi detaDr: aisa kab hota hai?Sardar: Phone karte waqt
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Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hunMan: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 variticket to le le"
--------------------------------------
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega
--------------------------------------
Hitler says,"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karnatha na"
--------------------------------------
Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
--------------------------------------
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
--------------------------------------
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya.1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!Sardar: Mere uper se hawai-jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheezhai?
--------------------------------------
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.
--------------------------------------
In bio practical:Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?Sardar: I don't know.Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?Sardar: See my legs & tell my name
--------------------------------------
Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem haiDR: Kya?Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi detaDr: aisa kab hota hai?Sardar: Phone karte waqt
--------------------------------------
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hunMan: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
--------------------------------------
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 variticket to le le"
--------------------------------------
Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega
--------------------------------------
Hitler says,"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karnatha na"
--------------------------------------
Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
--------------------------------------
1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye
--------------------------------------
1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya.1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!Sardar: Mere uper se hawai-jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheezhai?
--------------------------------------
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.
--------------------------------------
In bio practical:Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?Sardar: I don't know.Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?Sardar: See my legs & tell my name
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Bengali: Hotathi .... (Suddenly)
Biroktikor bhhirer majhey hothat uthlo haowa,
Hothat tomay dekhar aamej,
Hothat chaowa paowa ....
Hothat monn hariye gaelo,
Shritir shopno deshey,
Taepantorer rajprashhade tomay bhalobeshey ...
Hothat meghla hothat brishti,
Shristichhara hoye,
Hothat shopno bhije beral sudhu tumi aami roye ....
Hothat sukher pore elo hothat oboshad,
Brishti elo bhijchhey shobai,
Sudhu tumi ami baad ......
Friday, October 17, 2008
Diwali-festival "SMS"
******IN Hindi
*********
Deep Jalte jagmagate rahe, Hum aapko Aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak zindagi hai, dua hai hamari 'Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe...' Happy Diwali.
*****************************
DIWALI SMS:-
Is DIWALI se agli DIWALI tak apko
GHARWALI
BAHARWALI
SABJIWALI
PADOSWALI
COLLEGEWALI
DODHWALI
DILWALI
KAMWALI
FULWALI
sab ka pyar mile
HAPPY DIWALI.
*****************************
I Pray to God to give U Shanti,
Shakti,
Sampati,
Swarup,
Saiyam,
Saadgi,
Safalta,
Samridhi,
Sanskar,
Swaasth,
Sanmaan,
Saraswati,
aur SNEH.
SHUBH DIWALI.
*****************************
Dali ne dali par nazar dali, kisi ne is par dali, kisi ne uspar dali, hum ne jis par nazar dali,
uske baap ne uski shaadi kahin aur kar dali. Happy Diwali.
*****************************
MITHAIYAN HO OVERFLOW, MASTI HO KABHI NA LOW, PATHAKHO
KA SUROOR CHAYA RAHE, POCKET MAI BHARI MAYA RAHE, GOOD
LUCK KI HO BOCHAR , AISA HO AAPKE LIYE DIWALI KA TYOHAR.
*****************************
Lal Gulabi RANG hai, Jhoom raha SANSAR, Suraj ki Kirne Khushiyon ki BAHAR, Chand
ki Chandni, Apno ka Pyar, Mubarak ho Apko DIWALI ka tyohar.
*****************************
Phool ki shuruvat kali se hoti hai, Zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai, Pyar ki shuruvat
apno se hoti hai aur apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai. Happy Diwali.
*****************************
Ur Eyes Patakha, Ur Lips Rocket, Ur Ears Chakari, Ur
Nose Fuljari, Ur Style Anaar, Ur Personality
Bomb, SMS Karo Varna I'm Comin With Agarbatti.
*****************************
Dhamako Ki Starting, Patakho Ki Bauchar, Suraj Ki
Kirane, Apno Ka Pyaar, Mubaar Ho Aapko Dipawali Ka
Tyuhaar, Jiwan Main Ho Khushiya Apar.
*****************************
Safalta Kadam Chumti rahe,
Khushi Aaspas ghumti rahe,
Yash Itna faile ki KASTURI Sharma Jaye,
Laxmi ki kripa itni ho ki BALAJI bhi dekhte rah jaye,
Happy Diwali .
*****************************
Na dimag se
Na zuban se
Na paigam se
Na message se
Na gift se
Appko happy diwali
Direct dil se.
*****************************
Andhera hua dur raat ke saath
Nayi subha aayi diwali leke sath
Ab ankhne kholo dekho ek msg aayi hai
Diwali ki subh kamna sath layi hai.
"Happy Diwali".
*****************************
Pal Pal Sunhare Fool Khile,
Kabhi Na Ho Kaanto Ka Saamna,
Jindagi Aapki Khushiyo Se Bhari Rahe,
Dipawali Par Humaari Yahi Shubhkaamna.
*****************************
Y khas msg hai ise 1 din baad padhana kaha tha na 1 din baad nahi manoge to ye lo
*HAPPY DEEPAWALI* kiya na maine sabse pehle wish.
*****************************
Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,(
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
“Happy Diwali”.
*****************************
Jhilmilate dipon ki aabha se prakashit
Ye diwali aapke ghar aangan mein
Dhan dhanya sukh samridhi aur ishwor
Ke annat aashirwad le kar aaye.
Happy Diwali.
*****************************
In English
*****************************
Long live the tradition of hindu culture and as the generations have passed by hindu
culture is getting stronger and stronger lets keep it up.
Best Wishes for Diwali.
*****************************
With my
1 heart
2 eyes
7 liter blood
206 bones
4.5 million red cells
60 trillion D N A"S...
All wishing you a very very
HAPPY DIWALI!.
*****************************
Troubles as light as Air, love as deep as Ocean, Friends as Solid as Diamonds, and
Success as bright as Gold... These are the wishes for you and your family on the eve of
Diwali and EID. Eid ki Mubarakbadi aur Diwali ki Shubhkamana!.
*****************************
For this, is a special time when family
And friends get together,for fun.
Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,
In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!
“Happy Deepavali”.
*****************************
As the candlelight flame,
Ur life may always be happiness' claim;
As the mountain high,
U move without sigh;
like the white linen flair,
Purity is always an affair;
As sunshine creates morning glory,
fragrance fills years as flory;
with the immaculate eternal smile,
attached to u mile after mile;
All darkness is far away,
As light is on its way;
Wish all of u a very happy diwali.
*****************************
If u want to become a great man in the world. Spend ur
life like a candle. HAPPY DIWALI:;
Memories of moments celebrated together.... ...
Moments that have been attached in my heart, forever..... ..
Make me Miss You even more this Diwali.
Hope this Diwali brings in Good Fortune & Abounding Happiness for you!
HAPPY DIWALI.
*****************************
Deepawali SMS: A warm Diwali wish for every happiness. May the warmth and splendor,
that are a part of this auspicious occasion, fill your life with happiness and bright cheer,
and bring to you joy and prosperity, for the whole year.
*****************************
help ever....hurt never....
love ever....hate never....
give ever...except never...
smile ever...cry never...
think me ever...forget me never
Happy Diwali.
*****************************
Who r v 2 say:
Who's hindu?
Who's muslim?
When there's ALI in Diw-ali & RAM in Ram-zan. Send this SMS 2 as many frns 2 make
INDIA united.
*********************************************************
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Good Night & Sleep Well "SMS"
In Hindi:-
- WOh Palkhon kay kinarey jo hum ne kabhi bighoye hi nahi, Yeh mat Samajhna Kay Hum Kabhi ROye HI nAHi, Woh ROz Puchhtey Thay kAy Khuwabon Mein kIya Dekha, Aur Ik Hum Hain Jo Ik Umar Se SOye HI NAHi..
- X’cuse me, Agar ap abhi soye nahin ho aur sms parh rahe ho to “Good Night” Aur agar aap so gaye ho aur sms subah parho gay to phir “Good Morning”
- Thakanpur se fresh nagar janey wali Nindiya Express bedfoam pe khari hay, Ap se guzarish hay k apne qeemti sapnay sath le ker sawaar ho jayen. “Good Night“
- Chamkte chand ko neend ane lagi, Aapki kushi se duniya jagmagane lagi, Dekh ke aapko har kali gungunane lagi, Ab to phenktay phekntay mujhe bhi neend ane lagi, Goodnight.
- Aakash ke taro me khoya hai jaha sara, Lagta he pyara ek ek tara, Un taro me sabse pyara hai ek sitara, Jo is wakt pad raha hai sms hamara… Good Night ..!
- Charoo Taraaf CHAND Fekarela hai Light, Boleto ho gayeli Hai Night Band Karne ka Tube Light aur sone ka Tight, Bole to BYE... Goood Nite.
- khoobsurat aankhain teri raat ko jaagna choor day, khud ba khud neend aa jayegi tu mujhey soochna choor day. Good Night.
- Sote hue ko jagayenge hum, Aap ki ninde churayenge hum, Har waqt sms kar satayenge hum, Aap ko aayega ghussa lekin us Ghusse me hi yaad to aayege hum. Goodnight!
- Machhar Aur Makhi ki Ho gayi Shaadi Pahli hi rat se ho gaye Machhar ki Barbadi Machhar ne kaha Meri to QISMAT hi PHOOTI hai Makhi Roz Rat ko GOOD NIGHT laga kar soti hai.
- AGAR MANZIL PANI HAI TO HOSLA SAATH RAKHNA, AGAR PYAR PANA HAI TO AITBAAR SATH RAKHNA, AUR AGAR HAMESHA MUSKURANA HAI TO SONE SE PEHLE,HUMEN YAAD RAKHNA GOOD NIGHT.
- Hayo Rabba!! Tussi so gaye? Inni jaldi? Ik mint ruko mainu Gud night te bolan deo ji!! Gud Night hai ji ! O tussi chaho to sweet dreams bhi dekh lena.
- Dil me halka sa ek shor ho raha hai, Bina SMS ke dil bor ho raha hai, Kahi aisa to nahi ki ek pyaasa sa Dost Good Night kiye bina hi so raha hai.
- Tere bistar par makdi lage, Tere room me machar fire, raat ko lite chali jaye, Puri raat garmi lage, tere sapne me BHOOT aaye. Chal aab soja... Good Nite!
- Ab itni raat ko apun apko kisi baba ka satsang sunane k liye msg nahi kiya ,commonsense ki baat hai ki aapko gud nite bolne ka tha.chalo ludak jao....gud night.
- Pyari si Raat me pyare se sitare, pyara sa chand,pyari si chandani, or pyari si thandi hawaye ek pyare se dost ko pyari si nind de jaye.
- tum ko shram nahi aati rat kay 12 bajay ek jawan aur tanha lardki ko miss call kar ke us kay jazbat or ehsasat ko jagaty ho sharam karo or soo jao BYE G00D NIGHT..!
- jab yaad tumhare ate hay hum yado may ko jatay hay kuch tais se dil pe lagte hay hum ro ro k so jatay hay .
In English:- - If u feel little bored,little sick,little sad,all lost, U know whats wrong? U r suffering from lack of Vitamin ‘ME’ Good Night.
- One evening i will come 2 ur room lock the door, turn off the lights, join u in bed I’ll come closer 2 u, my lips near ur face And I’ll shout, Have a gr8 night!!
- A shining ANGEL stands beside your silky bed, Calling ur nice Name so softly, Throwing flowers on U And saying Good Night & Sweet Dreams.
- Let the most beautiful dream come to u tonight, Let the sweetest person come in ur dream tonight…. But dont make it a habit bcoz I m not free every night. Goodnight.
- Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.
- Stars light Stars bright u're the only Star I see tonight. I wish I may. I wish I might be there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd nite sweet dreams.
- A bed of clouds for U to sleep, Diamond stars as ur bedside lamp, Angels from heaven singing lullabies for U, May u sleep peacefully thru out the night. “Good Night”
- I think your eyes are tired looking at this world reflecting through light, let your eye lashes hug each other for few hours. happy journey into the dream world. Good Night.
- You may think that I forgot you. You may think that I don’t care, and you may think that I’m not thinking of you. Well, you’re wrong. You’re still in my dreams.,, goodnight.
- If the Candles cannot burn without light, If Moon cannot Shine without Night, Then how can i Sleep without wishing you Good Night...??
- Hi Moon!!!Dim Ur light...Hello Wind!!!Breeze Soft...Hi Flower!!!Blossom Slowly.Hello Earth!!!Spin Gently....'coz My sweet friend is going to sleep....Good Night..
- Dream a dream tonight as you sleep. Smile a smile tomorrow that you may keep. May all of your dreams and wishes come true coz I couldn’t find a better friend like you! GoodNight.
- One of d best msg i ever read... "Haatho ki lakiron par, kabhi vishwaas na karna, kyunki taqdir to unki bhi hoti hai, jinke haath nahi hote"... GN.SD.TC.
- No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there are stars or moon,as long as ur heart is true,SWEET DREAMS wl b always wt u. GOOD NIGHT:-)tk cr.
- If u feel little bored,little sick,little sad,all lost, U know whats wrong? U r suffering from lack of Vitamin ‘ME’ Good Night.
- A sleepy msg from a sleepy friend to a sleepy friend for a sleepy reason in a sleepy mood at a sleepy time wid a sleepy style to say sleepy sleepy good night....
- G -o to Bed O -ff the lights O -ut of tension D -reams come N -ice sleep I -gnore worries G -et up earlier H -ave a nice thought
T -hank the GOD.
===============================================================
Sweet Good Morning "SMS"
- Aap na hotay to hum kho gaye hotay,
Apni zindagi se ruswa ho gaye hotay,
Yeh to aap ko Good Morning k kehnay k liye uthay hain,
Warna hum to abhi bhi soo rahay hotay.
Good Morning - X’cuse me,
Agar ap abhi soye nahin ho
aur sms parh rahe ho to
“Good Night”
Aur agar aap so gaye ho
aur sms subah parho gay to phir
“Good Morning” - Good Morning..!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Ab neeche nashta
dhond rahe ho kia?
Aik bar keh to diya
“Good Morning” - Suraj ki pahli kiran khushi de aapko,
Dusri kiran hasi de aapko,
Tisri tandarusti aur kamyabi,
Bas aab jyada nahi warna garmi lagegi!!!
Good Morning. - Soraj ki pehli kiran
Din ka pehla pehar
Panchion ki pehli chehchahat
Dhanak ka pehla rang
Hawa ki thandi sansanahat
Subha ka pehla khomar:
GOOD MORNING
&
HAVE NICE DAY. - ne ye Paigaam bheja hai Phoolon ne Amrit ka jaam bheja hai, Sooraj ne gagan se Salam bheja hai, Mubarak ho Aapko nayi subhah, Tahe-Dil se HumGood Morning.
- Hi Good Morning...!!! Uth gaye ho na? Arz hai,Chai ke pyale se uthte dhue mein teri
tasvir nazar aati hai,Inhi khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai.
In English:- - May you begin this day with a smile on your face,
and with happiness for your soul to embrace.
Good Morning my love. - Morning is not only sunrise
but a beautiful miracle of GOD
that defeats the darkness & spread light.
May everyday spread light in your whole life.Ameen.!
“Good Morning“ - The smile is like a simcard and life is like a Cellphone,whenever you insert the
Simcard of a smile a beautiful day is activated.
A Morning is a wonderful blessing,Either stormy or Sunny,It stands for hope,Giving
us another start of what we call ...<*L*I*F*E*>...GooD MoRnInG....have A nice dAy.- Cheerful people are like Sunlight.They shine in to the corners of the heart & offer
bright mornings & fresh hopes....**Good Morning** to one such person. - Life is like a Book: Each day a new page with adventures to experience, lessons to
learn and good deeds to replicate. Have a COLORFUL PAGE today. Good Morning.
I have a pair of eyes but can't C U everyday....
Have a pair of ears, but can't hear ur voice everyday....
But I do have a heart... that cares for you everyday. Good Morning.- Happiness Keeps U SWEET, Trials Make U STRONG, Sorrows Keeps U HUMBLE,
Sucess Keeps You GLOWING. Wish u a lovely and sweet morning, Gud Day.
Just 3 Steps to end your tensions: Ctrl+Alt+Del.
Control yourself,
Look for alternate solution and
Delete the situation that caused tension!
Good Morning!- Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new day, a new life, a new friend, a new love
Good Morning. - With petals of Roses,
Palm full of Holy water,
Light of full Sun,
Fragrance of flower and grass with dew.
I wish U a
v. special
GOOD Moning. - Blue be the sky above you,
Soft be the road below you,
Affection be the breeze around you,
I pray all the happiness surrounds you.
Good Morning. - With petals of Roses,
Palm full of Holy water,
Light of full Sun,
Fragrance of flower and grass with dew.
I wish U a v. special
GOOD Moning. - Morning is God’s way of saying ‘1 more time… Go, live life, Make a difference, touch
ones heart, encourage 1’s mind, inspire 1’s soul & enjoy d day…’ 1 more time. - Smile a while and while you smile, smile another smile and soon there will be miles
and miles of smile just because you smiled, i wish your day is full of SMILE $**Gud
Morning**$. - “DREAMS visit us when we are asleep” but
GOD is truly wise, He wakes us up each day
and gives us every chance to make our
DREAMS come true!Good Morning! - A new day, a new sun, makes us to have a new run.
Come out of your dreams and see the world outstide. Waiting for you as a new day
has already begun.Good Morning! - Todays Thought: Try hard to get what u like (or) you will be forced to like what u get.
Keep smiling always it increases ur face value. Have a terrific day. GOOD MORNING. - 3 glances - 1 smile
3 smiles - 1 meeting
3 meeting - 1 kiss
3 kisses - 1 proposal
3 proposal - 1 marriage
and that
1 marriage - 3 words
?
?
?
ISKI TO GAYI…
Good Morning!
==============================================================
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